I Have Things...

Bravery, by N

2012-01-17T23:19:00.000-08:00

N had to write a personal narrative tonight. This is what he wrote, on his own, without any assistance. That never happens. Ever. In fact, the insight, the independence...it's all pretty much unprecedented. I just had to share. (Tiny bit of back story--for those who didn't live through it with me on Twitter in July--is that he went to a six-week inclusion program at a local elementary

The Half of It

2011-12-03T21:04:00.001-08:00

He's working on a project for school right now. It's 9 pm on a Saturday, but let's put that aside. And although it was a project that was supposed to be almost completed at school and only 'enhanced' at home and we actually ended up doing more than 75% of it here, let's put that aside, too. Because he's just spent the last 15 minutes "decorating" the cover of the project, despite the fact that he

Prepping

2011-11-16T14:34:00.001-08:00

N's annual IEP meeting is Monday. I've been prepping. Like crazy. Emphasis not on the 'like,' but very much on the 'crazy.' I've talked to his OT, and I know what she's planning on recommending. It involves a reduction in services, but not an annihilation of them. I'm OK with it. I've talked to his psychologist, and I know what she's planning on recommending. It involves more social-skills

I Need You To Tell Me I'm Not Losing My Mind

2011-10-26T15:49:00.000-07:00

Book lover. Always have been. Read voraciously as a child, voraciously as a younger adult, less voraciously after the kids were born, more voraciously as more of my time frees up. Although, these days, there's a lot more audiobook listening than there is visual, book-or-Nook-in-hand reading. That's irrelevant, mostly, to this plea for reassurance. Which is about the following: The last two

Scenes from the soccer sleepover

2011-10-24T14:40:00.000-07:00

[I'm just going to pretend it hasn't been a month and a half almost. OK? OK. Thanks for playing along!] Early in this AYSO soccer season, Em asked about getting the everyone together at a team sleepover and, in a moment of obvious not-so-early senility, Baroy and I suggested they do it at our house. And thus it came to pass that, on Saturday evening, seven 12-to-14-year-old-soccer players

Pasts and Predators

2011-09-18T21:32:00.000-07:00

While the kids were in Religious School this morning, I took a walk. One of my walking partners is no longer at the synagogue on Sunday mornings; my other was tied up in all-morning meetings with various committees. I needed to move, so I gave my kisses to my friend and excuses to those trying to get me to join their meetings, and headed out. A coffee and breakfast burrito later, I made a

Still OK

2011-09-07T10:22:00.000-07:00

This is what it's like to be the mom of a special-needs boy: I park the car in the usual spot, which is about a block uphill from the school. This allows me to get out of the area easily after I walk him to The Stairs, rather than getting stuck in the carpool dropoff line. (My boy? Not so much into the dropoff line.) As I pull over, I notice a few kids--including a boy from N's class--walking

Same Old N

2011-08-29T23:22:00.000-07:00

School started today. My first-born BABY started high school. I cannot say any more about that, or I will begin sobbing, and it's just unseemly to sob over your laptop keyboard when everyone's already asleep in the house. So yeah. High school, for the love of Pete. She's taking French, and modern dance, and a medical biology course that's somehow different from regular ninth grade biology, and is

Fourteen

2011-08-26T00:38:00.000-07:00

There were several times today, on my first baby's 14th birthday, that I almost burst open with the pride of being her mother. She knows how to be a friend...and when she falters, she's quick to listen to advice. She's almost freakishly mature for her age. She's almost freakishly mature for MY age. The stories that really define my girl these days are generally not stories I can tell. Not for me

One Liner

2011-07-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

At the circus, sno-cone cup in hand, N looks into the plastic tiger's eyes, then over at Baroy and me. "I think I'll name him Newspaper," he says. It takes us two or three full beats before we both start howling.

It's Not Possible

2011-06-16T16:41:00.000-07:00

It's not possible that my first baby, the one who made me a mother--who literally made me who I am today--was promoted into high school this morning. (She's in that photo, somewhere....) These kids came walking in, looking for all the world like actual young adults, as if this was real, as if they were really growing up. I refuse to accept it. It's just not possible. It's also not possible that

Whose Idea Was It To Have Dogs Again?

2011-06-15T00:47:00.000-07:00

Really, Snug? A skunk? At 11:00 at night? You needed to kill it and get sprayed in the face by it (though probably not in that order) and then later come running into the house...you and your not-quite-as-stinky-but-still-plenty-smelly companion? My house smells. Snug smells, despite the outdoor dousing in oatmeal shampoo we gave him. (Yes, next time we WILL have something a bit more up to

Idiomic Reality

2011-06-09T23:43:00.000-07:00

Dobby was outside barking his fool head off; he does this now and again. It was late. Well, lateish. I didn't want the neighbors bothered. So I went to the back door and called him. This usually works. It almost always works. But tonight, he kept barking. Finally, when my calls turned to commands, he obeyed. But as Dobby was coming in the back door, Snug was exiting. Seconds later, he'd

At the Dog Park

2011-05-18T11:42:00.000-07:00

I vacillate on the autism thing, and how it applies to N. I use it around the school, because it is a strap, a grabbing-on point, a way for people to understand my son and--very much more to the point--to justify putting forth time, effort, and especially money to help him. I use it because doctors and therapists have used it to describe him. I use it because it's the primary disability listed on

I Am Aware

2011-04-22T17:50:00.000-07:00

I am aware, these Autism Awareness days—though they're on the wane—almost entirely of the strides and gains. It would be hard not to be, right now. They’re earthshaking. I’m surprised seismographs across California haven’t picked up on these events, or on the pride they’ve engendered in me. I might have said it differently. I might have said that, recently, my boy has met

What She Said

2011-04-06T17:06:00.000-07:00

Don't you just hate it when someone else takes the words right out of your mouth, leaving you with nothing to say? Don't you just love it when someone else takes the words right out of your mouth, leaving you with nothing to say? Thanks, Kristen.

More N Deliciousness

2011-03-28T10:26:00.000-07:00

It was just after Religious School, and I'd run into our rabbi outside his office; he'd stopped to chat with me. Once N's friends had all dispersed, N joined us. Somehow, the topic turned to fruit; I think N was eating a tangerine. "What kind of fruit has its seeds on the outside?" N asked suddenly. It's a 'riddle' he likes to bring up any time the word fruit arises in conversation; he learned

Your Son: An Email Exchange With N

2011-03-27T23:16:00.000-07:00

[Verbatim. Because if this doesn't translate on its own--and it may not, I may be the only one guffawing here--no amount of embellishment or explanation is going to help.] From: N To: TC Subject: your son ples writght me back love your n ------- From: TC To: N Subject: Re: your son Hi, my son! ;-) I love you. Love, Mommy ------- From: N To: TC Subject: Re: your son ok wright more

Dobby Has No Master, But He Does Now Have a Family

2011-03-22T00:13:00.000-07:00

So we've been out and about a lot lately. I'm not just talking about my trip to New York with N, to see my folks and celebrate my mom's mumbledieth birthday (best reaction to a surprise ever!), or even to the fact that, while we were there, Em and Baroy spent a 12-plus-hour day at Disneyland. I mean I'm working more hours than usual; Em, at 13, has the social life of...well...an exceptionally

The Club

2011-02-21T22:06:00.000-08:00

I was spending the weekend with three of the world's most amazing women; Baroy was spending the weekend helping film a documentary that involves special needs kids. (More on both of those in more detail in the not-too-distant future.) On Sunday, they were filming--among other people--N's occupational therapist (who is, if you ask me, a not-so-minor deity). Because Em has expressed interest in

He's Got Skills, All Right

2011-01-30T20:50:00.000-08:00

There's ugly stuff going on at our tiny little synagogue. Political, maddening, saddening stuff. Where it will end, no one knows. I'm not sure there's a way back, but I'm not calling the game over quite yet. Where there's faith, there's hope. Or something like that. But all that's too much for me right now. Too hard, and too long, and too complex, and not really all that much my story to tell.

A Big Bear Miracle

2011-01-17T23:24:00.000-08:00

@font-face { font-family: "Cambria"; }p.MsoNormal, li.MsoNormal, div.MsoNormal { margin: 0in 0in 10pt; font-size: 12pt; font-family: "Times New Roman"; }div.Section1 { page: Section1; } We've been coming up to Big Bear every year for the past nine years.Each year, N has been terrified of sledding down the hill across from the house we stay in. Most years, he has refused to even get on a

Books I Listened to in 2010

2011-01-02T23:21:00.000-08:00

I'm starting this with optimism: that I will finish it before December of 2011, that I will get all the books into this one post, that anyone will bother to read it (or skim it) to the end. I am nothing if not optimistic. (Several of TC's friends snort derisively.) This was a big year for audiobooks. It was, for one thing, the Year of Harry Potter. Jim Dale...I've listened now to probably close

Books I Read in 2010

2010-12-30T23:36:00.000-08:00

I'm going to go for it. Attempt to actually get in two posts in the next 36ish hours--less, really--that will list the books I read/heard this year. Dig me. This list is way easier (read: shorter) than the audiobook list, because my in-bed or at-home reading time is almost nonexistent these days. But about three or four months ago I discovered the ebook section in my library, and began reading

Books I Listened to in 2009, Part II

2010-12-30T01:05:00.000-08:00

No, no, you read that right. Part II. Of a list I started in December of 2009 with a post listing the books I'd read that year. And then another post in April about some of the books I'd listened to. Which I then began to follow up by finishing up that list. Which would have been pathetic enough, a two-part 2009 list in April of 2010. But I guess I really wanted to win the You Call Yourself a

Hand Holding

2010-12-26T12:17:00.000-08:00

On Christmas Eve Eve (aka December 23), we were on our way to the home of our friends, where we spend Christmas every year, helping them celebrate their holiday as they often help us celebrate ours. I would make latkes and applesauce, and chicken soup with matzo balls; my friend would make eggplant parmesan with homemade marinara sauce, and pasta with a homemade meat sauce. We would feast. We did

His Beautiful Mind?

2010-11-15T12:00:00.000-08:00

[Walking to school.] Mom, you forgot to put the Vaseline on my lips, and they were really hurting last night. Did you tell me? No. Well, then how was I supposed to know. Do I live inside your head? [Laughs.] No, but that would be really cool if you did. [We have a conversation about why that might or might not be cool, having me be able to control him from inside his head. Then...] Does

Letter to the Soldiers

2010-11-08T09:51:00.000-08:00

(Taken directly from an email I sent my friend S this morning. Sometimes these entries just write themselves, don't they?) We had Mitzvah Day at the temple yesterday; one of the mitzvot--in this case, it means good deeds--we do is create care packages for soldiers overseas. The kids write holiday cards to the soldiers to include in the packages; lots of "we love you" and "come home soon"

I Swear, the Smart*ss Gene Came From Her Father

2010-11-04T11:30:00.000-07:00

We were having a family meeting last night about Em's computer usage. She received a laptop for her Bat Mitzvah (thanks, Mom!) and while it's literally been the Best Present Ever, it's also brought up some issues that I hadn't really considered. I've always been very anti-computer-in-the-kids'-rooms, and I still am. Except that there are actually lots of reasons for her to have to use her

Huge Small Gestures

2010-10-29T00:36:00.000-07:00

It'd been a tough, long, long, tough day. It's been a crazy-busy, often long, occasionally tough month, to be honest. But today really took the cake. At the end of it, I'd spent six of my eight hours in the office in meetings. (That is not an exaggeration. I wish it were an exaggeration, but it is not. They were good meetings, all, but there were six hours of them, which is--in and of itself--

Sudden Realization

2010-10-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

N and I were driving home from Hebrew school when the lightning started. I'd told him we needed to stop at the supermarket on our way home, and he began to worry about being hit by lightning while we were in the store. (If you have a kid on the spectrum, you know that by "began to worry" what I really mean is "began to perseverate on and spiral into a full-on freakout over...") I began to

That Girl

2010-10-06T22:01:00.000-07:00

We sat at the table, after dinner, me and my girl. Baroy and N were watching a movie in the other room; neither of us really wanted to see it. That girl's goal kick is wicked. Em was telling me about the meeting, that afternoon, of her middle school's environmental club. We were giggling, then straight-out laughing, then gasping for breath, tears streaming down our faces. (You had to be there.

The Break-Up Letter

2010-10-04T16:36:00.000-07:00

Em's eighth-grade Advanced History teacher is young, innovative, and totally adorable. He lets me believe that there is still a way to be a good teacher, no matter how inhospitable the general environment is toward teaching in this NCLB era of insipidity. Eighth grade is American History; the class is studying the Declaration of Independence. Their assignment? To write a break-up letter--

The Difference a Year Makes

2010-09-24T16:43:00.000-07:00

[Part II of Beginnings is coming, I promise. It just needs time. It's a both more- and less-heartwarming story than Part I, and it's taking time and emotional energy, neither of which I have much of right now. Instead, let me tell you about my afternoon, via my Twitter feed...] tinycoconut The difference a year makes: Got note from RSP

Beginnings, Part I

2010-09-14T12:07:00.000-07:00

The kids had been back to school for less than two weeks when i met with N's teacher. I could tell you all about our meeting. I would love to tell you all about our meeting, because I love talking about the good things. But, really, everything you need to know about that meeting was encapsulated in the first minutes of the school year. Actually, it was encapsulated in the first 30 seconds of the

The Worst Part

2010-08-22T08:49:00.000-07:00

I am the newsletter editor for our little shul. It's a volunteer job, and like all volunteer jobs, it has its baggage, as well as its delights. I've always thought that one of the worst parts of the job is compiling the monthly Yahrzeit list--it's an anniversary list of sorts, but of deaths. It lets people know on which night they should light a candle, when to say kaddish. It's a necessary,

Book Talk

2010-08-13T22:17:00.000-07:00

[Warning: There are sorta kinda maybe spoilers in here. Not big ones, but...if you're reading any of the books I'm discussing, and are the kind of reader for whom even a vague mention of a plot point might give stuff away, you might want to tread cautiously.] So now that the bat mitzvah is over and done with, I've been reading. And listening, which I call reading, even if it's done with my ears.

I'm Trying Not to Read Too Deeply Into These

2010-08-02T21:46:00.000-07:00

N's been practicing his cursive this summer by writing little stories, completely unprompted. Here are two he handed me just the other day. I like to call this first one "Em's vocation" My family is the best family in the whole earth. I love them so much. My uncles and my mommy and daddy does writing, my sister does playing with her friends, and I play golf. The end. And Baroy likes to call

For Em, On Her Bat Mitzvah

2010-07-25T23:33:00.000-07:00

In our synagogue, after the Bat or Bar Mitzvah does their Torah and/or Haftarah reading, they give what is known as a d'var torah--a teaching, a speech. Afterwards, our rabbi calls the parents up to say a few words about their child. Here's what I had to say about my child, who had just done me so proud I could barely breathe, much less speak. Thank goodness I'd written it all out, down to the

Don't Know HOW He Puts Up With Me

2010-07-14T10:02:00.000-07:00

We're in the bat-mitzvah home stretch now, folks. It's all planning, all the time. ALL THE TIME. No, I don't think you understand. ALLLLLLL THEEEEEEEE TIIIIIIIIIIME. And so, last weekend, I went for a haircut. Because The Plans said that I should do that a couple of weeks in advance of the date, in case something went Horribly Wrong and I wound up with Bad Hair. (Apparently, party planning

At Almost 13

2010-07-01T22:17:00.000-07:00

She's 12, almost 13. We are getting ready for her to become a Bat Mitzvah, a daughter of the commandments, a Jewish adult. (Just over three weeks! Oy VEY!) She is, in so many ways, already an adult, already a woman. She is so wonderfully mature. This is the child who, when her teacher had them choose the book they wanted to read for class, chose To Kill a Mockingbird. And couldn't stop talking

Incentive?

2010-06-29T12:21:00.000-07:00

Christa's post about finding the right incentive system for her son Ben reminded me of something I wanted to write about before school ended. (That, clearly, did not happen. But I've decided there's no statute of limitations on blog post ideas, and so...) When N started in the resource room at school (for extra academic support), one of the things the resource teacher asked us to do was to

An Open Letter To N's Third-Grade Teacher

2010-06-19T09:31:00.000-07:00

Really? You have absolutely nothing positive to say about my child in the comments section of his report card? REALLY? Not a thing? N continues to work below grade level. Well, duh, lady. I'm pretty sure the IEP, at which point they pulled him out of your classroom for most of his major academics, would have been the first clue. The second was the fact that, because of that, you weren't even

Pirates!

2010-06-15T12:37:00.000-07:00

We couldn't see N during the opening number of the third-grade play. He must be far back in the crowd, I thought. But then: Or maybe he wasn't there at all? Next came the scene with a smaller bunch of pirates, singing a song I'd heard him practice over and over.* But no N. Baroy and I caught one another's eyes. Baroy was up closer to the stage with the camera; I was videoing from the back.

Moments of Renewal

2010-06-02T09:45:00.000-07:00

I'm walking up to my car this morning after dropping N at school, and I see a small white dog streak down the main (ish) thoroughfare I park on. It makes a sharp left and turns up a side street. I stop and look; a few blocks above, I see a man walking his dog. I see him begin gesturing, pointing down the side street. I see a woman appear at a full-out run, following his gestures. She's not young

Whose Child is This?

2010-05-25T11:11:00.000-07:00

I was picking up N at his OT social-skills group yesterday, and he went--as he always does--to hug the various therapists who work with him there. And, as she's lately been doing, the lead OT reminded him to give "sideways hugs" rather than approach from the front and sort of bury his face into their bellies. I've been meaning to ask about this, and since there were no other parents clamoring

The Anatomy of Stupidity

2010-05-20T00:05:00.000-07:00

My weekends have become these insanely complicated machines. No...contraptions. Wacky contraptions, with too many moving parts and a jerry-rigged, overused, unreliable engine. That engine? My brain. Let me set the scene. It's Sunday. I've already navigated my crazy morning: the end-of-year presentation at Hebrew school, which required me to present on N's behalf after helping Em finish up and

The Power of the Pathetic Email

2010-05-06T22:41:00.000-07:00

It was all my fault; I'd totally screwed up. There are details, there are ins and outs, there are explanations and excuses. But the truth is, I'd told Em a year ago that I'd sign her up to be an independent Girl Scout--a Juliette--so that she could be a Program Aide at a one-week "twilight camp" she's been going to since she was in Kindergarten. And I never filled out the form. Another mom tried

What Makes Me Proud

2010-04-29T10:03:00.000-07:00

Sometimes, of course, it's the big things. But mostly? It's the little moments, the not-so-in-your-face ones, the ones that show character so far beyond what you might have hoped your child would have. I'm not going to tell much of this story because--as is almost invariably true of 12-year-old girls whose lives have become more and more their own and less and less their parents'--it's not mine

An Elephant Wearing Tap Shoes

2010-04-22T21:58:00.000-07:00

Em's 7th grade Language Arts class is doing a segment on poetry. Today they were each asked to write a poem of sorts--a series of similes and metaphors about a particular person. Em chose to write about N. He plays golf like a professional. He is as quirky as an elephant wearing tap shoes. He is as handsome as a male model ready for a photo shoot. He can be as annoying as a dog begging for food.

In Which Anne Lamott Justifies My Blogging

2010-04-15T23:07:00.000-07:00

Anne Lamott did a book-signing and -reading on the campus where I work last night. Here's how much of a fan I am: I went. By myself. I don't do those sorts of things, ever. Especially midweek, when it means more time away from my kids. But it was Anne, so it was different. (And yes, I know she's one of those writers who many people love to hate. But the criticisms--of self-absorption and

I'm in a Mood

2010-04-14T17:53:00.000-07:00

The reality is that there isn't a five-days-a-week-in-the-office job that would make me really happy. The reality is that I'm not going anywhere any time soon. The reality is that working from home didn't make me happy either. The reality is that I'm apparently not especially easy to please. The reality is that waiting for my life to be the way I want it to be means all I ever do is wait.

Books I Listened to in 2009, Part I

2010-04-10T00:26:00.000-07:00

So, um, yeah. It's April. And guess what I forgot to do in January, when my son was being diagnosed and I thought I had it all together but really didn't? Yeah, I forgot to post this list of audiobooks I listened to during the year. Hell, I forgot to finish this list of audiobooks I listened to during the year. In fact? I still haven't finished it. But I'm far enough along that I can give you

The Other Mother

2010-04-02T11:06:00.000-07:00

We were at Weeyum Wise's 9th birthday party. It had been a difficult decision as to whether to go; it was being held at the Big Gym, which has always been a rough place for N; he loves it, he hates it, he wants to be there, he can't be there. And to make it worse, there wouldn't be a single other child, aside from Weeyum, whom N would know. Weeyum's mom--my lovely friend J--suggested that, if N

Hard Work

2010-03-31T00:44:00.000-07:00

You know all those posts I haven't been writing? Here's why: Back in January, early January, N (finally, FINALLY) got his "official" M.D.-certified autism diagnosis (PDD, to be specific), with a nice little side order of Generalized Anxiety Disorder to go along with it. And for some reason--some truthfully unfathomable reason--I've struggled with how to tell you about it. Which is insane, since

A Haiku, by Em

2010-03-24T12:15:00.000-07:00

Em is a writer. At 12, she has a much more mature 'voice' than I did at her age. It's in the vocabulary and--I think more interestingly--in the innate sense of humor, of irony, of sarcasm that she's developed. (Her spelling and grammar, on the other hand, are atrocious. She gets that--along with a good amount of her talent--from her dad, whose ability to write dialogue is astonishing, but who,

These Kids Slay Me

2010-03-22T18:47:00.000-07:00

From Em's Facebook account: Em Lastname: I am REALLY REALLY glad that my English project is done!Friend of hers: Changed it from Englidh?Em: Yeah...kinda had to! ;p

A Public Service Message from N

2010-03-04T00:09:00.000-08:00

Dear Family,You know the heater near the bathroom? I accidentally dropped some H2O on the heater by accident. It smells bad. Don't go in the hallway!P.S. It smells bad!You know, I had written a whole post about this note, which I found on the white board in the kitchen the other night, right before N went to bed. It talked about the challenges he's had in writing, and why this one note is a real

Hope and Wonder

2010-03-01T16:13:00.000-08:00

We're in the garden; it's a beautiful Sunday after a torrentially rainy Saturday. Em's helping me weed; N's playing in the dirt, which is somehow supposed to be helping me, but isn't at all. Still, it's making him happy, so it's all good.Suddenly, a bee buzzes past N's head. He jumps, startles, freaks out. This is what he does when there's a bee. It's OK. He retreats into the house, gathers

A photographic explanation for the lack of surprise at his autism spectrum diagnosis

2010-02-26T11:28:00.000-08:00

But, hey. He got an award--for classroom improvement!--and he went up and took it, high-fiving the (male) teacher (who I want him to have for fourth grade) who handed it to him. Last year, he refused to even go up and get the award in the first place. Baby steps, right?Besides. Makes for an adorable, postable-on-my-blog-since-you-can't-see-his-face photo, so it's a win-win, methinks.(And I know I

Sweet Pride

2010-02-20T23:36:00.000-08:00

We have a little girl, C, staying with us overnight tonight; she's a friend of N's from religious school whose mom's been quite ill and just got out of the hospital today. Things have been pretty chaotic for this kid, who is not yet 8 years old. They've been pretty chaotic for her family, too. So I offered to have her over, make it a sleepover, and take her to religious school in the morning, in

My Blues Buster

2010-02-06T18:01:00.001-08:00

A couple of days ago, I posted this on Twitter:Why does depression always hit right when everything in my life is upside down and I can't really focus on myself? Oh...wait... 9:22 AM Feb 4th from web It was a bit of a throwaway...Those of you on Twitter know what I mean. It was just what was on my mind at that moment; within thirty seconds, though, I was thinking about

Where I've Been When I Haven't Been Here

2010-02-04T22:19:00.000-08:00

I've always assumed that bloggers who suddenly disappear from sight do so because of some major catastrophe. And some do, I suppose. But probably many are more like me: The tide of everydayness comes and picks us up, sweeps us away, and we watch helplessly as the shore grows more and more distant, unsure of how to make our way back.Or maybe shit just happens. But it sounds better as an ocean

Bittersweet

2010-01-30T14:37:00.000-08:00

I owe you all a couple of long posts, and certainly an explanation (not that there's much of one) for my long absence. But for right now, I just want to tell one quick story, without the pressure of having to write about all that has and has not been going on here. OK by you? Just for now?Em's all-star soccer team was playing today; the team is actually not especially impressive, but Em's having

Jewish penicillin

2010-01-07T10:20:00.001-08:00

I'm still working on the second half of my books list (the one about the books I listened to this year...it's long, OK? And I have things to do! Sheesh! Leave me alone!) but had to throw in a pitch for my latest recipe on (Never) Too Many Cooks: Chicken soup with matzo balls.There is nothing better. Period. Don't believe me? Try it yourself.

Books I Read in 2009

2009-12-30T23:35:00.000-08:00

As I compile these long-assed lists every year, I say to myself, "Self, this sucks. Next year, let's do it differently." And so, as each year rolls into the next, I tell you guys about how I'm going to do it differently. Sometimes, I even follow through...for about thirty seconds. But mostly? Not at all. And then I wind up here, close to the end of the year, starting pretty much from scratch.This

Em's Reading List, 2009

2009-12-27T22:01:00.000-08:00

This will be a week for lists. My reading (and listening) lists are up next...but, first, by popular demand, the 30 books Em finished this year:1. Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares2. My Most Excellent Year by Steve Kluger (this is Em and N's beloved Uncle S--and this book, if you haven't read it, is achingly sweet, and features a young character who is more than a little bit

I WAS WRONG

2009-12-23T15:55:00.000-08:00

[Trumpet sounds]Hear ye, hear ye! I formally announce my clear and absolute wrongheadedness, grant my daughter a one-time revokable right to read my blog (well, this entry, anyway...no wandering, Em!), and promise never to underestimate her again:Em rocks and I WAS WRONG...and I'm not afraid to admit it.The backstory: Around Thanksgiving time, Em looked at the list of 25 books she'd read this

Never Underestimate the Power of an Ice-Cream Cake

2009-12-17T14:45:00.000-08:00

N's been having a terrible school year. Terrible. In pretty much every way you can think of to parse it. Social. Emotional. Academic. Especially academic.His first of three report cards came home last week, and it was...yes...terrible. On a scale of 1 to 4 (1 = below grade level; 2 = approaching grade level; 3 = at grad level; 4 = above grade level), he got nothing but 1s and 2s. The teacher

Officially an Adult

2009-12-15T22:44:00.000-08:00

I always wondered when I would become an adult. Most kids do, I think. I'm not sure what exactly we think "becoming an adult" means, but we know it's bound to happen some time.At first, I assumed that it would happen on a birthday. I'd wake up, 18 years old, and be an adult. When that didn't happen, I nudged it up to 21. No dice there, either.So I pinned my hopes--so many hopes--on motherhood.

Hey, Look! Over There! Latkes!

2009-12-10T19:56:00.000-08:00

I don't hawk my posts on (Never) Too Many Cooks every single time I post one. But, you know. This one's awesome. Because it's about carbs. And oil. And rededication. And ancient history. And sorta miraculous long-burning lights during a time of year when darkness reigns.But mostly? It's about carbs and oil. You know you want some. You know you do.Mmmm. Latkes.(In the photo above, the bronze shoes

The Great Interview Experiment: Magpie Musing

2009-12-09T11:35:00.001-08:00

I suck. I know this post isn't supposed to be about me, but I do. Here's why: I signed up to do Neil's Great Interview Experiment AGES ago. I took way too long to respond to the questions sent to me by my interviewer, and then took way too long to send my questions to my interviewee, Magpie Musing. But she responded quickly. And I said I'd put up the interview ANY SECOND NOW.That was, um, let's

Rockin' Out

2009-12-06T20:52:00.000-08:00

There are a couple of "those" kinds of houses around the corner from us, and we decided to take a walk in the freezing-for-LA night air tonight to see them. N stood in front of this house for ages--all the while quietly, unselfconsciously dancing to the music.He makes me smile.

A Powerful Owie

2009-11-29T19:05:00.000-08:00

I walk past N as he puts parmesan on his pasta in the kitchen, his head bent over. I can't resist. I kiss the back of his neck."Owie," he says."Owie?" I reply. "That didn't hurt.""But it tickled," he says. "And so I said 'owie.' You can't argue with that.""Um, yes, I can.""No, you can't," he says with finality. "Owie's a strong and powerful word."I'm not sure I know what that conversation meant,

Thanksgiving in Photos

2009-11-28T11:05:00.000-08:00

Every year, we invite all the "geographical orphans" over to our house for Thanksgiving dinner--all the people who didn't, couldn't, wouldn't travel to their far-away relatives' homes for the holiday. It is, always, a huge amount of fun. And while I miss my family something fierce at these times of year, there is also something to be said for the family of your heart.OK. Enough mush. On to the

Breathe

2009-11-26T00:08:00.000-08:00

The first time I saw a tree aflame in color after moving to Southern California, I was seriously flummoxed. I'd assumed that the generalizations about LA having no seasons were hard-and-fast, literal rules.I was wrong. I mean, sure, people aren't ever going to flock to this region to view the fall foliage. For one thing, fall takes its sweet time around here; the trees don't choreograph their

All About MEEEEE!

2009-11-22T22:09:00.000-08:00

A few weeks ago, I signed up to be part of Neil's Great Interview Experiment 2009. I'll be introducing you to my interviewee and posting the interview I did with her in just a day or so. But first, I wanted to thank my fellow West Coast mama, Mames, who blogs over at MamieKnits, for her interview of me, and especially for her really insightful questions. They alternately made me smile and made me

Cranberry Sauciness

2009-11-19T00:54:00.001-08:00

No time. Must sleep. But, first...Cranberry sauce recipe, up at (Never) Too Many Cooks.Don't say I never did anything for you. Because this? Is something.Something special. For reals.

From the Sidelines

2009-11-16T11:12:00.000-08:00

Em went down, hard, twice during Saturday's soccer game, the last of the regular season. The first time was during a physical run next to another girl, during which she took some combination of a shoulder and an elbow to the solar plexus, and fell, doubled over, forehead on the ground.I waited--days, I'm sure--for the ref to blow the whistle to stop the play so someone could go see if she was

Two Completely Unrelated Updates

2009-11-10T23:42:00.000-08:00

First, if you haven't yet entered the Ragu $100 Visa Gift Card Giveaway on my review blog, I Try Things, you have until midnight tomorrow--Wednesday, November 11--to do so. I'll be revving up the old random-number generator (THREE digits, baybee! Woot!) and posting the winner on Thursday morning.Be sure to read all the rules and regulations for the best chance to win.Next...today's IEP meeting.

Those Were the Days My Friends

2009-11-09T21:25:00.000-08:00

I used to be such a public-school fan. And then N came along and, without meaning to, he systematically searched out and revealed to me all of that institution's flaws.They're not pretty. Like pus-filled-pestilence level of not-pretty.On Friday, I went to meet with the principal at N's school, to sign a document that states, flat out, that he is "at risk of retention" due to very low scores both

You Want to Try My Applesauce

2009-11-05T11:04:00.000-08:00

You may not know it, but you do. And the recipe is up, now, over at (Never) Too Many Cooks.(And yes, I missed yesterday. So much for that NaBlo 'streak,' eh? You can blame whatever it is that's been squeezing the capillaries in my skull these past 24 hours. Ouch, I say. Ouch.)

The N Store

2009-11-03T19:39:00.000-08:00

[Pssst. For the very, very, very smart folks out there, there's an eeeeeeeensy little hint as to N's actual name in here. In case you hadn't picked up on it the umpteen times I've slipped and typed it all the way out when I post, I mean.]On the way home from Hebrew School, after dropping Em off at soccer practice, N and I noticed that the newly built store at the bottom of our block is soon going

Starting from Scratch

2009-11-02T22:14:00.001-08:00

I've put off writing about the three-hour meeting we had last week with a special education advocate. For one thing, note that number. Three. Hours. Plus. For another, it was a devastating meeting. Not in the literal sense. Nothing was physically destroyed. But there was definitely emotional rubble afterward. There is definitely rebuilding to be done. And the good news is that there is hope that

Kickin' It

2009-11-01T15:48:00.000-08:00

The upshot of the soccer saga? Midweek, before he even had a chance to come see her again, we got an email from the coach, inviting Em--and not-Em--to be on the tournament team. For reals, this time.Said coach is known to be tough. As I write this, Baroy is out there watching her at the team's first practice, and texting me. "He's not too warm and fuzzy," he remarked a few minutes ago, then, "But

(Never) Too Many Cooks

2009-10-29T09:14:00.000-07:00

There are days when this special needs thing kicks me in the butt so hard I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sit down for a week. Yesterday was one of those days. And it wasn't even a bad-thing-happened kick. It was just three hours in a room with a special ed advocate and so many emotions that I literally had to pull the car over on the drive back to my office and put my head between my

Pride

2009-10-27T15:55:00.000-07:00

[This is a shot from an exhibition match Em's team played at a local community college a few weeks ago. The guy to the left in the foreground is Baroy. The player in blue farthest to the right on the field is Em.]The soccer thing got even more complicated after my last post. Way more complicated. Almost too complicated to explain, but I need to. So I can also explain my pride.On Monday, Baroy got

God Has an Opinion on Soccer

2009-10-24T19:05:00.001-07:00

This is Em's seventh year playing AYSO soccer. She's always been enthusiastic, and she never been a detriment to any team. But over the last couple of years she's really started to come into her own. Last year, for instance, she was asked--though as one of the last picked--to be on one of her division's All Star teams. This year, she's considered a shoe-in.The problem is, this summer is her Bat

Speaking My Language

2009-10-22T16:26:00.000-07:00

You know how sometimes you read something that really, completely changes the way you think or do things? And then, if you're me, you know how you immediately forget who the brilliant person was who presented you with this particular ephiphany?Well, some years back, I read something somewhere by someone..and it changed my life. In a small way, but very much for the better. Said someone somewhere

No Matter How Angry

2009-10-20T14:15:00.001-07:00

No matter how angry I am, I shouldn't cut and paste the nasty letter I got from N's teacher today. Instead, I should remind myself (again) that these sorts of things really play into my hand, that having emails laying out all the ways in which N is showing the strain of this year--emails on which the principal is copied by the teacher--only make it easier to argue that he needs more help. Now.No

Why I Had Children

2009-10-19T20:27:00.000-07:00

My 12-year-old daughter just walked into my office, carrying a cup of coffee. That she made for me. Herself. Without me needing to lift a single finger.Nuff said.[Edited to add: It was decaf, and she also made one for herself. Which makes this even more awesome...because I can count on it happening again, and often, since I don't have to wait for her to want to 'do something nice' for me. Her

Push

2009-10-16T22:47:00.000-07:00

I don't want to.I don't feel well.I don't feel well because I don't want to.Lately, I'm finding it harder and harder (and I mean HARDER) to get past the part of me that rebels against almost any new or unusual or untried event or experience. Sure, I wanted to see Em play a 12-minute exhibition soccer game, with her team, on a full-size field during the local community college game's halftime this

The Big Sigh

2009-10-14T10:34:00.000-07:00

You know how, sometimes, you see someone's name in your email box, and before you click on the message, you sigh deeply? Not because you necessarily dislike the person or anything, but because you just know that interactions with him or her are never, ever simple? That you can never just ask about something, mention something, request something, and have it quickly, easily, simply DONE?I am

Not Myself...Whoever THAT Is

2009-10-13T22:34:00.001-07:00

At the end of a temple event-planning event--after a full day of work and right before a religious school committee meeting--I said to my friend, "If I don't send you that email we were discussing within the next 24 hours, don't hesitate to remind me. I've been letting a lot of threads drop lately, and sometimes I just need a nudge."She looked at me with genuine concern. "Dropping threads?" she

Resolution

2009-10-12T22:41:00.000-07:00

I keep starting posts. Some of them are ambitious. Some of them are dramatic. Some of them really want to be funny at a time when I'm not feeling especially funny. Some of them require thinking about things I don't want to think about. Some of them require admitting things I don't want to admit.None of them get finished.And each day that goes by where they're not finished? Is a day where no post

One Step Back, A Step and a Smidge Forward?

2009-10-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

We had a Sukkot celebration at a friend's house on Sunday; there were four 7-to-8-year-olds, three 11-to-12-year-olds, and a 16-year-old. The hostess, D, recently got her Master's in Jewish Education, and clearly couldn't allow a learning opportunity to pass her by, So she gathered the kids together to help them each make an individual, miniature sukkah out of graham crackers, marshmallow fluff,

Over at I Try Things...

2009-10-01T12:41:00.000-07:00

I have a new post up over at I Try Things. It's a review of some recipes I tried out recently, all using Ragu sauces. Which they sent to me. For free. And yes, let me say up front, I'm also being paid a couple of shekels for the review. (Those, I believe, are all the necessary disclaimers. I want to make sure I'm so transparent about these dealings that you can see right through me!)It's also a

The Update (Ta Dum)

2009-09-25T18:59:00.000-07:00

I'm not going to try to make this cute or sweet or funny. I'll just give you as many of the facts as I can before I pass out from a combination of exhaustion, stress, 98 degree heat at 7 pm, and cuddling with my boy while his father and sister are out seeing Fame.The 411:1. I did NOT get what I went in to the principal to ask for, which was a class change; she said they're at the legal limit in

4:43 AM

2009-09-25T04:43:00.000-07:00

This is how it goes down: Snug--our obsessive, neurotic sweetheart of a dog--starts worrying at something outside Em's window. She tries to call him into the house; no go. At just after 4 AM, she comes upstairs to whisper to Baroy that Snug's keeping her awake. This wakes me, too. We hear Snug pad into the house, so Em returns to her room, and Baroy and I return to sleep.Or try to. But it's over

Last Chance for the Gift Card

2009-09-19T17:19:00.000-07:00

The AT&T Family Map $100 Visa giftcard giveaway ends tomorrow at midnight, Pacific Time; I'll announce the winner Monday on I Try Things, after the random-number-generator thing does its, um, thing.If you entered, make sure that I have a valid email address for you; no double entries, though, or you'll be disqualified. If you didn't leave me a valid email and you're regretting it now, send it to