Monday, February 4, 2008

In Which My Brothers-in-Law Write My Blog Entry For Me

The only piece of info you need to have is that my brother-in-law J and I were good friends for a number of years before he introduced me to Baroy. (No, not that kind of friends. Really, no.)

This morning, J wrote the following email to his brothers (Baroy, B, and S):
In 1992 or thereabouts, I was watching a playoff game between the Oilers and Bills. The score was 35 to 3 at the half and TC convinced me to turn it off and meet her at a movie theater to see Eddie Murphy in "The Distinguished Gentleman." When we left the movie, I called Sports Phone and the first thing I heard was, "...and in the greatest comeback in the history of the NFL playoffs, Buffalo defeats Houston 38-35." This e-mail exchange followed this morning:

TC to ME: So you didn't happen to turn off the Superbowl, oh, about 45 seconds before it ended in order to watch The Distinguished Gentleman, did you?

ME to TC: No dear. That would have happened only if we'd been in the same city. (TC in 1937: "Let's go get some coffee. You've seen a blimp dock before." TC in 1951: "Aah, go get a hot dog. Bobby Thompson can't hit his way out of the infield." TC in 1863: "It's cold, it's rainy and Lincoln's a terrible speaker. Besides, who wants to go to a cemetery?")
Not to be outdone in smartassness, the rest of the boys (though not Baroy, He Who Knows What Is Good For Him) began to reply in rapid succession:

From B:
TC in February 1964: Who wants to wait in line to see the Ed Sullivan Show? That show's just for old fogey's anyway....

From S:
TC in 1948: "Oh, turn off the radio and meet me at the Persian Room. You can listen to President Dewey's speech tomorrow."

TC in 1956: "Nobody can make a musical out of 'Pygmalion.' It's a waste of an opening night. Give somebody else the tickets and let's go see 'The Green Blob.'"

TC in 1963: "Abe, enough already. There's nothing to film at the end of a motorcade."

From B again:
TC in July 1969: Oh, Neil, turn this thing around and let's go home. There's nothing down there but craters.

From S again:
TC in 1865: Absolutely not. First of all, Laura Keene isn't funny. Second of all, the seats are on the far right side of the Dress Circle. All you can see from there is half the stage and the door to the private boxes. Haven't they invented movies yet???

From J, not to be outdone at his own game:
TC in 25,000 BC: “Oh please, Gorb is always tinkering with something. I’m not investing any of MY shiny pebbles in some round thing for the drag-board.”

And finally, one more from B, who generally has the last word:
TC a ka-pillion years ago: "What?! 'Let there be light?' wasn't enough? 'Heaven and earth?' wasn't enough?! Now they want me to make PEOPLE, too?? No, absolutely not. This is where I draw the line!"

Yep, my brother-in-law just put me in the role of God. Nobody will ever accuse these boys of not taking a joke to its very limits.

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