They're *her* feelings

Before taking the kids to see Grease this summer on Broadway, my broher-in-law FedExed a note to Max Crumm, the guy who was chosen to play Danny through the not-really-based-in-reality show, You're the One That I Want. He told Max that he was bringing his niece to see him in the show while it was in previews, and that it was her tenth birthday, and it would be great if he could...actually, I'm not sure what he wanted from Max. Some kind of recognition for Em, who had been rooting for him all through the show. (Sort of. Most of the time. But Max didn't need to know that.) Max never responded, and while he signed both kids' playbills along with all the other fans waiting outside the theater that night, that wasn't nearly enough to satisfy my brother-in-law's somewhat inflated (by which I mean, GINORMOUS) sense of entitlement. Since then, he's made Max's rejection of HIS NIECE into a half-joke, half-vendetta that makes us all roll our eyes.

That's the first thing you need to know.

The second thing you need to know is that Em has become very environmentally aware. I bought her a book about things kids can do to help the environment, and she's now insisting on having only compact fluorescent light bulbs in her room, and is on a campaign to get us to put them throughout the house. (We already have them in our office, but I find the quality of light to be...uncomfortable. So I'm resisting putting them EVERYwhere.) I mentioned to her recently that Governor Schwarzenegger has been considering a ban on incandescent lightbulbs [wish I could find a more recent version of that story, but I'm too damned lazy], and she decided that she would write him an email to tell him she thinks that's a great idea. And so, yesterday, she did, and then wrote about it on the little private blog she keeps, which my brother-in-law then read.

OK. Now you're ready for the exchange of emails from yesterday between Em and my brother-in-law, S. S originally emailed Baroy and me, but copied Em, and we decided to let her take care of the responses:

*****
From: S
To: TC, Baroy
cc: Em

If Emmy gets an e-mail back from Schwarzenegger, I want to send a copy of it to that idiot Max Crumm and show him how a human being is SUPPOSED to respond to a 10-year-old.

*****
From: Em
To: S
cc: TC, Baroy

OH JUST GET OVER IT ALREADY!!!!!!!!!!! I'm not upset so why are you.

*****
From: S
To: Em
cc: TC, Baroy

Because he's a horrible human being who deserves a time out for abusing the tender feelings of children!

*****
From: Em
To: S
cc: TC, Baroy

HE DIDN'T HURT MY FEELINGS!!!!!!!!!

He may have hurt yours but not mine.

*****
From: S
To: Em
cc: TC, Baroy

Trust me. He hurt your feelings. And I'll NEVER forgive him for that!

*****
From: Em
To: S
cc: TC, Baroy

HE DID NOT HURT MY FEELINGS AND THAT IS FINAL!!!!!!!!!

*****
And hence Em begins to learn the hard, hard lesson of dealing with someone who you simultaneously adore and want desperately to kill, if only so that he will JUST SHUT UP.