God is Mean

Bread is one thing. Bread I can deal with. But I am thigh-deep in PMS-y hormones, and I don't just want a beer...I NEED a beer. And I may not have a beer. Because it has yeast. And yeast makes bread rise. And therefore, that yeasty hop-ish goodness is forbidden to me for another 48 hours, almost to the second. Not that I'm counting or anything. (Make that 47 hours, 57 minutes.)

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I've been up in arms these last few weeks about a possibly too silly and definitely too complicated to write out safety issue at my kids' school. Oddly, I seem to be the only one who finds this safety issue upsetting; or, at least, I'm the only one who has been letting it gnaw at her for weeks.

Which is not to say that I've kept quiet about it. When I first heard about the changes that would introduce this safety issue, I wrote a note to the principal and the parent who was spearheading the pilot project I was objecting to, expressing my concerns. I got nothing from the principal, and only a condescending "Well, if you're concerned, then come help us institute the changes!" note from the parent. (Um, no. I think what you're doing is stupid. Why would I HELP YOU do it?)

After the project had been running for a week, it was discussed at a PTA meeting. I stood up and made a rather impassioned speech about my concerns, and it was met with enough head-bobbing that I thought I'd gotten through to them.

Then we went on spring break, and when we came back to school this week...the pilot project had become a permanent policy. Oh, HELL no. I was just NOT taking that lying down.

And so, yesterday, I sent a note to the PTA president--who is a friend of mine, a woman I truly adore--telling her that I was resigning from the PTA Executive Board effective immediately, due to the fact that I was going to have to fight this new policy, starting with the principal, and moving on to the school board and the newspapers, if necessary. And I felt that since the PTA board was a co-sponsor of this program, it would be wrong for me to actively act against the board while being ON it.

Long story short: There is a meeting scheduled for Monday to discuss altering the new program to deal with my concerns, and I've been asked to withdraw my resignation pending the outcome of those discussions.

I am thrilled on one hand...and feeling horribly guilty on the other. Because I think I was a bit of a bully. I mean, I was perfectly ready to follow up on my resignation and wage a one-woman war over this issue; I feel it's that important. But at the same time, I was sort of hoping that by threatening to resign, I'd get some action. And, in fact, my friend told me that she immediately called the principal and said, "We can't afford to lose TC; please do something." And that is what led to the scheduling of the Monday meeting.

So, if in the end I win, then really, any means necessary, right? But there's still guilt in knowing that if I were most any other mother, nobody would have paid me any attention here. Actually, the guilt is in knowing that half the reason I do the things I do at the school is so that I'm NOT any other mother, and that when I need a favor, people are more inclined to do it for me. Or, in this case, when I need to push my weight around, I have enough weight to do it. But is that fair? Does that tarnish the things I do for the school, if they're not really selfless, if I'm sort of saving up chits that I will later call in?

Hey, God, did I mention that I really NEED that beer?