Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Missing the Entitlement Gene

We're on spring break this week, and we signed Em up for a UK Soccer Camp thingy at a local park at her request. When I went to pick her up yesterday after her first three-hour session, she looked gloomy and annoyed. Turns out, she's in a group of 7, 8, 9, and 10 year olds, and found much of the instruction to be well under her ability level. Plus, she complained that during the scrimmage they did, the older kids on the other team wouldn't pass to the little kids, whereas her team played "fair" and, consequently, got trounced.

I suggested that she could talk to her dad about it, and that he would probably be happy to ask the counselors/coaches tomorrow if she might be moved up into the 11-16 group. When we got home, I brought it up with Baroy, who said he'd certainly be willing to do that. But Em looked distinctly uncomfortable, and suddenly began talking about all the things she'd enjoyed that morning. Finally, she just said, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to talk to the coaches, Daddy. It wouldn't be fair to all the other 10-year-olds. They probably feel the same way I do, and they won't get to move up."

When she left the room, I looked at Baroy, my mouth agape. "What was THAT all about?" I asked, in wonderment. "Is it possible that our child does NOT believe the world revolves around her and only her? Is it possible that she believes that rules apply to her as well as to others? Is it possible that she doesn't feel entitled to special treatment, just by being who she is?"

"I know!" Baroy returned. "Where have we gone wrong?"


Green said...

It's so hard to be in that in-between age.

po said...

What a sweet girl :). But yeah, how did that happen ;)?