Pimping Out His Sibling

Because Em is going to be gone for a month, and because almost-11-year-old girls are like that, there was much wailing and hugging and protestations of love and missing-to-come when we got together with The Gang on Sunday for our weekly Music in the Park session. Well, at least there was all that among the three girls. J, the lone boy in the upper-age echelons of our group, is age-appropriately Not At All like that.

Our conversation on the ride home went something like this:

Me: So, you guys were a little emotional tonight!

Em: Yeah.

Me: I saw you saying goodbye to J. Did you hug him?

Em: No! J's not like that. He's not a hugger. He's more of a put-ice-down-your-shirt [the kids' usual end-of-the-evening game] kind of guy.

N: Em, if J ever asks you to marry him, you should say no.

Em: Why?

N: Because he puts ice down your shirt too much!

Baroy: That's sweet! You're standing up for your sister, huh?

N: I guess...

Me: Well, who do you think Em SHOULD marry?

N: I dunno...

Me: You don't think anyone we know is good enough for her?

N: Well, I think when I get to be older, and I hang out with some cool guys, then I can tell one of the cool guys that he can try out my sister.

Baroy, Me, Em, in unison: WHAT?

N: If I hang out with lots of cool guys, I can see which one Em likes, and I can tell the rest of them to go away, but I can tell the cool guy she likes to try out my sister.

Me, trying not to either laugh myself into a coma or swallow my tongue: N, what does 'try out my sister' mean?

N: See if she wants to marry him. DUH!

Duh, indeed.