Just So Wrong

I walked to the Farmer's Market this morning, and brought home a really HUGE cucumber for my cucumber-fanatic family. Baroy and Em left for the day before I unpacked it, leaving only N to gape at it's awesomeness when I pulled it out of my special Farmer's Market tote.

Except he did more than gape. He picked it up and began cradling it, cooing to it and, finally, walking around the house saying, "Hello there, my girlfriend. You are so beautiful, my girlfriend! How are you today, my girlfriend?"

I didn't even know where to start explaining just why that is so, so wrong.

(Oh, come on. I can't be the only one who had a "24 Reasons Why Cucumbers Are Better Than Men" poster over her bed in college, can I?)

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And for anyone who was wondering: I stayed home with N last night. Part of the reason was because I've been feeling sort of low-energy myself these last few days, after a frenetic week. But part of the reason was that I wanted to make sure he had a special night...and while Baroy is a gem of a dad in so many ways, his idea of "a special night" is to watch a movie on TV. (That's also his idea of a Monday night. And a Tuesday night. And...you get the idea.)

So, I barbequed sausages (for me) and burgers (for N), which we ate with fruit and stringbeans picked right off the bushes I have growing in the backyard. We played with some of N's toys and then, when it got dark, we walked two blocks over to watch the big fireworks display right down the hill from us. It was fantastic. On the way back, N said, "I want to have a party!" When I asked him what we needed to do for it to be a party, he said, "Dance! Duh."

And so, when we got home, we brought out my laptop and boogied to one kids' song and one grown-up song (Shiny Happy People), playing freeze-dance throughout. At which point I put on my Mean Mom pants and said that boys with fevers needed to be in bed, seeing as it was already past 10. Of course, Baroy and Em returned from our friends' house just at that moment, and Em and N needed to tell each other about all the fun they'd had. The fact that N had just as much to share as Em made the whole evening worthwhile.